Some of the stupidest things in the bible

Rain and lightning. The bible says god controls them and every reasonable person on this planet knows that's crap, here's my take on it.

Leviticus 26:4 reads,

"I will give you rain in due season, so that the land will bear its crops, and the trees their fruit;"

Now I think most reasonable people would say this means that god actually has control of the rain. If he says "I will give you rain..." that means he's the one who makes it rain, right? He also says he will do it, "…in due season…" which implies that he can not only make it rain, but chooses when and when not to make it rain. I think this is something we can all agree on, right? Now Let's move on to another verse.

2 Chronicles 7:13-14 reads,

"If I shut up heaven that there be no rain, or if I command the locusts to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among my people; If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land"

Here again god claims control of the rain, but also locusts other assorted pestilence. He does it to make people worship him no less! Now we know why Katrina came eh? That's a pretty compelling reason to obey this god if you ask me. The problem is that god does NOT control the weather, contrary to what the bible says.

There is ironclad, provable evidence that rain is caused by the sun heating up water, which causes it to evaporate, or turn into a water vapor that rises into the sky and when they get big enough, they fall back down on the ground as raindrops. You may not be able to see the water vapor when it evaporates, but any 2nd grader can do an experiment to see that it does indeed happen. Actually this explanation is taught in probably every school in America. Any basic science book will say it. So why aren't the religious fanatics trying to get rid of this part of the science book too? It directly contradicts their bible, why should they focus on evolution so much, when this sneaky theory of rain has gone undetected for much longer than evolution has ever tried to be in our schools?

Because they'd look like complete dumbasses, that's why. Anybody can prove EXACTLY how rain works. I don't even know how christians can say they believe in the bible when they know that at least that part isn't true! This bible that was supposedly written by a perfect god who knows everything? Well some will say "I don't believe EVERYTHING the bible says" well I'm sure that's gonna cost you some treasure in heaven! It also makes you a 'lukewarm' christian, which is also condemned in the bible.

Here is another verse,

Jeremiah 10:13

"When He utters His voice, there is a tumult of waters in the heavens, And He causes the clouds to ascend from the end of the earth; He makes lightning for the rain, And brings out the wind from His storehouses."

This one deals with his command of the lightning that goes with the rain. Lightning is another phenomenon that has been explained by modern science. This is also in all modern science textbooks, check it out:

"Lightning is produced in thunderstorms when liquid and ice particles above the freezing level collide, and build up large electrical fields in the clouds. Once these electric fields become large enough, a giant "spark" occurs between them, like static electricity, reducing the charge separation. The lightning spark can occur between clouds, between the cloud and air, or between the cloud and ground."

This is another thing that can be proven using the scientific method and experiments. When the bible was written they just didn't know that, so they made up a god to do it!

I could go on and on with weather that the bible attributes to god, but is that really necessary? This is why I believe these are some of the stupidest things in the bible because they can have easily been shown to be not true and that fact is generally accepted everywhere.

If it's God's will, then I will!

I saw this on a license plate (we're only required to have one on the back in Oklahoma, so people put vanity plates on the front) and what they mean is "if doing something is god's will then I will do it". My question is how do you know god's will?

I would say GOOGLE IT! Although Most people will say, "Pray about it and he'll tell you." Ok well that's reasonable. How does he tell you? Does he make you feel a certain way? Maybe he'll tell you audibly? Maybe he'll have you read a particular passage in the bible that day? (thus negating your free will)

When I was a kid there was a girl in Sunday school whose grandma got raped. She was in her 80's. The guy that did it got caught and he said he did it because he heard god tell him to do it. We can't prove he did, we can't prove he didn't either! I know that's bad logic, sorry. The point is who are we to punish him for something that's between him and god? Who are we to say god didn't tell him to rape that old helpless woman? Most people would respond to that question and say, "Well god only commands people to do honorable, nice, loving, etc. things" and I say turn your bible to Numbers chapter 31 verses 17-18!! It reads as follows

"17 Slay, therefore, every male child and every woman who has had intercourse with a man [so that means spare all the lesbians! ] 18 But you may spare and keep for yourselves all girls who have had no intercourse with a man" (NAS)

So god's army, led by Moses is destroying another tribe and taking all their girls who are lesbians or virgins! I wonder why they would only want THAT PARTICULAR type of girl? So some father will be killed and his virgin daughter will be defiled by an invading army led by Moses and his Hebrew god. Nice. Yeah god would never command someone to rape your grandma....